Winds of Change - Part 1 of 3

Hello everybody. I want to talk to you today about the winds of change.

The winds of change could be like a gentle breeze that ruffles the leaves on the sidewalk, or it could be like a hurricane! Some of you have experienced both! Sometimes it happens like you think it's just a little breeze and suddenly it's a hurricane because change often coalesces. Some of you notice that sometimes things will happen, like you'll have three different things happen, like have a problem at work and then your car breaks down and then you have a financial problem all at the same time. And that is even more difficult with change!

Well, my name is Linda Frazee and I've been teaching people how to manage change effectively for the last 40 years. It's a big thing and it hasn't gone away. It will never go away! Our ability to learn how to manage change effectively, especially emotionally with ourselves, is really essential.

In addition to teaching people how to manage change, I have been teaching the Enneagram, which is a very fine personality system of nine different types that has to do with your genetic predisposition, your family of origin and your self talk. And when we bring that into play with change, you really have a lot of success and learning more about yourself and how to manage those times when change is just one change, or when they're all together.

This is going to be a three part series. Today I'm going to use a model of change to explain what change is, and what happens to us when change occurs. I'm going to put this model up here for you to see. And for those of you who can't see it, I'm going to tell you what it looks like.

So imagine a horizontal line and then there's a big round circle at the top above the line and another one below. The line represents the neutrality of anything happening that we assume is a change that requires us to do something. We have some feelings about it. That's the change itself. A lot of the time is just neutral, but it's something that happens for us.

A car accident is not neutral, illness is not neutral. It's generally an event that happens that we feel like we have to do something. So then we have a choice. We can go above the line and become proactive. And when we do that, we can think clearly about it. 'Oh, this is something that needs to change. What must I do?' That puts us into risk and opportunity. It creates openness and support and it enables us to grow. That would be the ideal thing we would all do all the time. But more often than not, what happens is the opposite.

There's a circle that goes below the line and that's called reactivity. It's not responding, it's reacting. And then we're caught up in our 'safety and maintenance' and the first thing that we do is feel threatened - and we defend - and we attack - and we avoid - and we resist - and we blame other people. And we think we're right and everybody else is wrong! It's what we call the victim mode. When you're below the line, and you're in 'safety and maintenance,' you're in the victim mode and you can't think clearly about good choices.

Now, one thing you can do when you experience this, and almost everybody has a tendency, in at least one aspect of their life, if not more - where we tend to be more reactive than another. So, if you get reactive and you go down below the line, one of the first things you can do is recognize that that's what you're doing. 'Oh! I'm in reactivity!' 'I'm below the line!' And you go through the same feelings, but go through them faster so that you don't stay there for a week or two weeks or five weeks or five years. You go, 'okay, that's where I am.' And you acknowledge these feelings, you have your feelings, and then you come back up to the center - to that horizontal line, and then perhaps you can make another choice.

Now when it comes to the Enneagram, there are certain types that have a tendency to be more reactive than others, and some types are so assertive that they immediately go into proactivity.

The 'one', the perfectionist, is very often very proactive, 'okay, we've got a problem!' 'What are we going to do?' 'Let's do something.' The 'three' can be, 'okay, let's get this fixed.' 'I just know there's something I can do because the 'one' and the 'three' are very big achievers and doers.' The 'eight', who is called a protector, has a lot of big energy - sometimes called the boss, and is often saying, 'okay, let's get this fixed. Let's do something!' All three of these people can actually do things that are often 'too much,' the one, the three, and the eight - and create more problems! But they're more likely to immediately get proactive.

The 'seven' on the Enneagram is called the adventurer or the epicure - and is often saying, 'well, let's get proactive and let's make this fun.' 'Oh, this is just another fun change. Let's see now ... let's have a party! We'll have a good time with this!' And sometimes that helps and sometimes that's simply an avoidance technique.

Now, there are types that have a tendency to naturally go below the line, (and I want to reiterate, all types can get reactive and go below the line.) It's about when you go down if you live there, or whether you just visit there, how often you go, and if you find yourself there, how quickly you can come back up. The types of the Enneagram that tend to drop down below the line are certainly the 'four' who's looking at the past, the 'two' who could be concerned about hurting somebody's feelings and out of touch with their own feelings and so they can be reactive. The 'five' who doesn't want anybody to know they have feelings in the first place and closes down - and you can get very, very reactive. The 'six' very often is a fearful type or an angry type, sometimes both, and they can blame other people and feel it's unfair.

Now, as you're listening to this, if you don't know the Enneagram, you'd say, 'well, what do you mean? I have all these feelings myself?' And of course we do! We have them, but some of them are more typical for us than others. That's the beauty of the Enneagram. It helps you understand those kinds of feelings, not just in change, but in other walks of life as well - and what to do about them.

I'd like to invite you to watch the other parts. This is the first of a three part series about the winds of change. And to also come to my website, www.LindaFrazee.com - and check out the free videos that tell you more about the Enneagram. Watch for my Authentic Wisdom community where there are tremendous amounts of resources! I look forward to seeing you again!

Linda Frazee

LindaFrazee.com

Free 5-Video Series: What is the Enneagram Anyway?